Men are made of the stuff of little boys. His emotions, personality, dreams, and ways of behaving all have their foundation in a little boy.
Little boys see that girls are admired just for being, being pretty, being sweet, being mummy or daddy’s little girl (Yes it is a generalisation)
It is not so for little boys (Usually) they find they are only admired when they do something special. They see older boys admired of doing something special.
So they set off on their life’s quest to do something special so they will be loved and admired. The Key word here is DO the must do something, just to be loved. They must be competent skilled and clever or so they think.
No wonder the poor dears get into so much trouble. So the next time you find some man maybe even a man you like annoying you by doing things to try and impress you, or telling you what wonderful things he has done. Remember this is his cry for love, he is saying please love me, care about me. I am a good boy.
So apply some emotional intelligence, and you can become the most wonderful woman in the world to him, and leave any competition standing in the dust wondering what happened.
What’s the best response? Validate him! Comment on him being so clever to have done that. Or so competent, or skilled, appear impressed or happy. He will feel delighted and do all he can to make you feel happier and sustain your happiness.
Later you can work on what really makes you happy, once he knows you are the only one, he needs.
If some guy is just annoying you and you want him to go and leave you. The very best way is to validate him and then gently send him on his way, but it must be very clear. Something like “you are a very sweet guy, you’ll be good for some girl but your not right for me”
Guys only get aggressive if they feel they have been lead on and made a fool. Or there is ambiguity that leads to frustration. Similar thing, or their mates are watching and they feel a fool. Or you deliberately insult or bitch them up, when they have just offered their heart to you and now feel like a fool. You have shown them to be incompetent and not clever.
I could go on about this for ever but am desperately trying to keep it short. I have written many articles on relationships and emotional intelligence look out for them.
Friday 30 October 2009
Wednesday 28 October 2009
Lie detector game
More on lies and being a human lie detector
Observing micro body language.
These are physiological changes in a person that happen in a microsecond, but guess what, our bodies have the perceptual ability to recognise these in a microsecond. It just takes practice and some trust in your own ability. But to those who do not possess this knowledge it seems like you have super human abilities.
How to get him back & keep him devoted, Click Here!
develop the perception necessary to detect lies
A little experiment you can do is this. Get a friend to write a number 1 to 10 in pencil on the top right hand corner of a paper back some where among the pages. Then you flick through the pages very fast until you think you may have seen something. Then guess what that number is. Then find the page and look at it. You will be surprised how often you can be right, and how much you improve with practice.
For the magic of making up Click Here!
micro physiological changes when people lie
OK so here's the cool deal, when people lie or feel some emotional stress the skin tone and colour of their face changes. Often it becomes slightly pink or more shiny or wet looking. But basically just changes in some way. Only minutely for a fraction of a second. You can spot this like you can spot the number in the book.
spot the lie game.
You can practice this with a trusted friend first, before you go making major judgements about your other relationships. Make sure you both know what you are doing. You are playing a spot the lie game.
So you ask real easy questions of your friend. Questions like what is your favourite colour or singer, how old are you. Then they know at some point they must tell a lie. Your job is firstly to spot the change in their face the colour texture etc of their skin and secondly to identify the lie.
Take turns being the liar and the detector. So your friend feels they are also gaining something form this. With practice you will become very good at this. And will develop this priceless perceptual ability.
Observing micro body language.
These are physiological changes in a person that happen in a microsecond, but guess what, our bodies have the perceptual ability to recognise these in a microsecond. It just takes practice and some trust in your own ability. But to those who do not possess this knowledge it seems like you have super human abilities.
How to get him back & keep him devoted, Click Here!
develop the perception necessary to detect lies
A little experiment you can do is this. Get a friend to write a number 1 to 10 in pencil on the top right hand corner of a paper back some where among the pages. Then you flick through the pages very fast until you think you may have seen something. Then guess what that number is. Then find the page and look at it. You will be surprised how often you can be right, and how much you improve with practice.
For the magic of making up Click Here!
micro physiological changes when people lie
OK so here's the cool deal, when people lie or feel some emotional stress the skin tone and colour of their face changes. Often it becomes slightly pink or more shiny or wet looking. But basically just changes in some way. Only minutely for a fraction of a second. You can spot this like you can spot the number in the book.
spot the lie game.
You can practice this with a trusted friend first, before you go making major judgements about your other relationships. Make sure you both know what you are doing. You are playing a spot the lie game.
So you ask real easy questions of your friend. Questions like what is your favourite colour or singer, how old are you. Then they know at some point they must tell a lie. Your job is firstly to spot the change in their face the colour texture etc of their skin and secondly to identify the lie.
Take turns being the liar and the detector. So your friend feels they are also gaining something form this. With practice you will become very good at this. And will develop this priceless perceptual ability.
Lies, be a human lie detector
Lies, be a human lie detector
Here are some very quick simple ways to test if your partner might be deceiving you, withholding something or downright lying to you.
People typically change the speed, at which they talk when they are lying, that is when you catch them off guard. They may speed up as they answer your most likely when they want you to leave the subject and not ask more. Or they can slow down, most likely if they are thinking of the excuse as they speak or want to sound extra convincing. If the lie has been well rehearsed it may sound normal.
Over elaborating.
When they come home do they want to tell you more about what they have been doing than usual? When you ask them about what they have been doing do they tell you too much?
Do they tell you less than usual, if you ask them they are evasive just saying they had a boring day.
Very clever technique,
If you ask them about some thing and you feel them become emotionally stressed like they are lying or wanting to change the subject. Allow them the change the subject or change it yourself and observe their emotional tension, does it decrease. Then later come back to that first subject and see if the tension comes back too. If so worth investigating further.
Here are some very quick simple ways to test if your partner might be deceiving you, withholding something or downright lying to you.
People typically change the speed, at which they talk when they are lying, that is when you catch them off guard. They may speed up as they answer your most likely when they want you to leave the subject and not ask more. Or they can slow down, most likely if they are thinking of the excuse as they speak or want to sound extra convincing. If the lie has been well rehearsed it may sound normal.
Over elaborating.
When they come home do they want to tell you more about what they have been doing than usual? When you ask them about what they have been doing do they tell you too much?
Do they tell you less than usual, if you ask them they are evasive just saying they had a boring day.
Very clever technique,
If you ask them about some thing and you feel them become emotionally stressed like they are lying or wanting to change the subject. Allow them the change the subject or change it yourself and observe their emotional tension, does it decrease. Then later come back to that first subject and see if the tension comes back too. If so worth investigating further.
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